After being on the road for several years and visiting many different countries, I've learned that the one thing that interesting people, fellow travelers, adventure seekers, life livers and memorable men and women have in common, is their love and respect for the little cup of dark bitter soup, aka Coffee. On the other hand, those who are not particular about their coffee intake, or even worse, don't like hot drinks, are horrible, boring, energy consuming, and utterly a waste of human resources. Keep away from those, as they would shit all over your sunshine while omitting generic mediocracy.
You might guess from the tone of things that I am a coffee man myself and I bare no patience for peasants. You might also ask, what brought this outrage that I am mildly expressing here? And that would be a proper question, it would show your interest in my sad yet happy life, and I appreciate that. Now, before I send you to have a life of your own, I am going to give you a few notes about coffee, hoping that you will give it your fullest attention, as there will be a quiz at the end. Besides, my wife hates it when I go on and on and on about coffee, so see yourself screwed.
This out-lashing is to blame on my inability to procure a worthy cup of coffee on American soil, may it be an Espresso, Americano, Drip or French Press, anywhere between the shores of the Atlantic and the Pacific. Except for one place, a little coffee shop on the Upper East Side in New York, Cafe Noi. Alon, the owner, is a coffee wizard and I would do anything right now for Single Espresso crafted by him and perfectly brewed from his magic beans. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the taste of the coffee is affected by those who make it. Even more so, Coffee is highly sensitive and is susceptible to almost anything. Coffee is especially sensitive to apathy.
Let's start at the beginning and see what makes a coffee taste like it does:
Origin - Coffea is a plant that grows all over the world and the location of its field would affect the outcome taste of its beans. The soil, the water, the climate, the latitude and pretty much everything that farmers and coffee growers are aware of, would make its mark on the bean.
Species - There are two main species of coffea, Arabica and Robusta. From these two species, an endless amount of subspecies branch out and coffee growers create new ones everyday.
Class - There are a few classification and grades given to coffee beans. This makes it much easier for traders and merchants to conduct their business without arguing about taste. But have no doubt, they all taste differently.
After the coffee beans are picked from the field, they are put in bags and sent off to their destination, where will they will acquire some more attributes to their taste.
Age - The time between being picked and being roasted. Fresh Vs. Stale.
Storage - Coffee beans are extremely sensitive to the environment. Storage facilities located in warm and humid environments would have a different mark on the taste compared to facilities located in cold and dry environments. Most important is the beans exposure to air, contributing to their oxidation and freshness, or lack there of. The same beans, from the same farm, from the same batch, would taste differently if handled differently.
Now this is where things gets interesting and the art of coffee making begins.
The Roast - In order to turn the coffee beans into a drink they need to be roasted. The size of the roasting drum, the size of the batch, the heat, the duration, the method and the technique are the signature of every coffee maker. Roast the coffee for a longer time or use a higher temperature and you'll get a dark roast with a bitter, "stronger" taste. Roast it at lower temperature and you'll get a more balanced and palatable taste. You don't even have to roast the beans, you can just freeze it and extract the juices and flavors out of them. Each coffee maker and its own artistry. For some reason, most, if not all of American coffee makers have a tendency or desire to over roast their beans, giving a burned after taste and sudo stronger coffee. Disgusting.
Storage - Again the storage has a massive impact on the coffee. The minute the beans come in contact with Oxygen, the count down begins. This is why coffee bags are vacuumed.
Age - Some claim that the beans should rest a few days before the grinding and some claim that the grinding should come immediately after roasting. These is again an expression of the coffee making artistry, where everything counts.
The Blend - One of the crucial elements of coffee making. Coffee makers usually make a blend of a few coffee beans from different locations, species and roasting degrees to create a balanced and unique taste. Just like wine where different kinds of grapes are blended or Scotch, where different kinds of Barley are blended. And just like wine or Scotch, the least blended would receive a higher price tag. But that is Hog Wash.
The Grind - The finer the grinds, the quicker they will burn in contact with hot water or steam. The coarser the grinds, the slower it would take for the water to absorb the flavors from the ground coffee. This is why Drip Coffee and French Press are coarser than Espresso. And this is why idiots burn your Espresso and other idiots make your Drip look like toilet water after a night of Indian food.
Wow, this is getting long and we haven't even started yet.
I am going to head out now for another failed attempt at finding a decent cup of coffee.
Oh, by the way, if you're in Los Angeles this week, I have my first show in the US in a very long time. It is going to be a fun night, promise.
Thursday, Fab. 13th, 8pm @ Molly Malone's
Godspeed
You might guess from the tone of things that I am a coffee man myself and I bare no patience for peasants. You might also ask, what brought this outrage that I am mildly expressing here? And that would be a proper question, it would show your interest in my sad yet happy life, and I appreciate that. Now, before I send you to have a life of your own, I am going to give you a few notes about coffee, hoping that you will give it your fullest attention, as there will be a quiz at the end. Besides, my wife hates it when I go on and on and on about coffee, so see yourself screwed.
This out-lashing is to blame on my inability to procure a worthy cup of coffee on American soil, may it be an Espresso, Americano, Drip or French Press, anywhere between the shores of the Atlantic and the Pacific. Except for one place, a little coffee shop on the Upper East Side in New York, Cafe Noi. Alon, the owner, is a coffee wizard and I would do anything right now for Single Espresso crafted by him and perfectly brewed from his magic beans. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the taste of the coffee is affected by those who make it. Even more so, Coffee is highly sensitive and is susceptible to almost anything. Coffee is especially sensitive to apathy.
Let's start at the beginning and see what makes a coffee taste like it does:
Origin - Coffea is a plant that grows all over the world and the location of its field would affect the outcome taste of its beans. The soil, the water, the climate, the latitude and pretty much everything that farmers and coffee growers are aware of, would make its mark on the bean.
Species - There are two main species of coffea, Arabica and Robusta. From these two species, an endless amount of subspecies branch out and coffee growers create new ones everyday.
Class - There are a few classification and grades given to coffee beans. This makes it much easier for traders and merchants to conduct their business without arguing about taste. But have no doubt, they all taste differently.
After the coffee beans are picked from the field, they are put in bags and sent off to their destination, where will they will acquire some more attributes to their taste.
Age - The time between being picked and being roasted. Fresh Vs. Stale.
Storage - Coffee beans are extremely sensitive to the environment. Storage facilities located in warm and humid environments would have a different mark on the taste compared to facilities located in cold and dry environments. Most important is the beans exposure to air, contributing to their oxidation and freshness, or lack there of. The same beans, from the same farm, from the same batch, would taste differently if handled differently.
Now this is where things gets interesting and the art of coffee making begins.
The Roast - In order to turn the coffee beans into a drink they need to be roasted. The size of the roasting drum, the size of the batch, the heat, the duration, the method and the technique are the signature of every coffee maker. Roast the coffee for a longer time or use a higher temperature and you'll get a dark roast with a bitter, "stronger" taste. Roast it at lower temperature and you'll get a more balanced and palatable taste. You don't even have to roast the beans, you can just freeze it and extract the juices and flavors out of them. Each coffee maker and its own artistry. For some reason, most, if not all of American coffee makers have a tendency or desire to over roast their beans, giving a burned after taste and sudo stronger coffee. Disgusting.
Storage - Again the storage has a massive impact on the coffee. The minute the beans come in contact with Oxygen, the count down begins. This is why coffee bags are vacuumed.
Age - Some claim that the beans should rest a few days before the grinding and some claim that the grinding should come immediately after roasting. These is again an expression of the coffee making artistry, where everything counts.
The Blend - One of the crucial elements of coffee making. Coffee makers usually make a blend of a few coffee beans from different locations, species and roasting degrees to create a balanced and unique taste. Just like wine where different kinds of grapes are blended or Scotch, where different kinds of Barley are blended. And just like wine or Scotch, the least blended would receive a higher price tag. But that is Hog Wash.
The Grind - The finer the grinds, the quicker they will burn in contact with hot water or steam. The coarser the grinds, the slower it would take for the water to absorb the flavors from the ground coffee. This is why Drip Coffee and French Press are coarser than Espresso. And this is why idiots burn your Espresso and other idiots make your Drip look like toilet water after a night of Indian food.
Wow, this is getting long and we haven't even started yet.
I am going to head out now for another failed attempt at finding a decent cup of coffee.
Oh, by the way, if you're in Los Angeles this week, I have my first show in the US in a very long time. It is going to be a fun night, promise.
Thursday, Fab. 13th, 8pm @ Molly Malone's
Godspeed
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